May 31 2006
Please and tantrum
When I came home from work today, Fuller greeted me with alligator tears and loud wailing. Damon came around the corner and answered my unspoken question with, “We are having a battle of wills.”
Apparently Fuller wanted his sippy cup and he was not going to get it until he said “please.” Any time you offered the request, “Fuller, say please” it was answered with an even louder wail as if the world would end upon Fuller’s uttering of the magic word.
Fuller did not want to say please and the battle had gone on for an hour.
I was encouraged to be on Damon’s side and insist that Fuller say “please” in order to get the cup. Since I was just getting home, I wasn’t really ready to pick sides so I thought I could gain some middle ground. I sat down at the computer and double checked the sign language for please.
I showed Damon the sign and the accompanying video. Damon laughed a little and said, “That just looks like the sign for tantrum.”
Some people have asked us if we are teaching Fuller sign language and others have suggested it as a way of getting him to communicate instead of throwing a tantrum. But the truth is, Fuller just isn’t interested. Please, milk, juice, more… all signs that I know and Fuller could care less about.
I babysat a deaf girl when I was in high school. She was three and could talk a mile a minute with her hands. When I sat for her I was given an english to ASL book to help me communicate the necessities with her. Her older siblings were there and were the main translators, but sometimes I did prefer to speak directly to her. The main sentence I was able to commuincate (and still remember to this day) was “Bedtime now. Now. Bedtime. Now. Now. NOW.” (She was a little wild. But what three year old isn’t?)
I had dreams of getting Fuller moving his fingers instead of raising his voice, but from day one it just wasn’t his thing. He just wants what he wants. Maybe we started trying too late, maybe we gave in to easily at first. But whatever it is, someday I know we will hear more than “Uh-oh” and “Byeeee.” Someday, he will say “please” and “I love you.”
And someday he will say “I love you Grandma Linda.”
He DID say, “I love you,” to me on the phone last evening! There was that linguistic rhythm thing going with the three different sounds. But no, he doesn’t have “Veija” yet.
Sorry, that wasn’t Grandpa Fred. It was me — Vieja!
I did the whole signing thing with Jade also- I started when he was about 6 or 7 months- he couldn’t sign back but if I did the sign for “Milk” he would throw his face rather dramatically into my chest to nurse! It was pretty impressive and very cute.
Did his ability to ask for “More, please” with his hands hinder his desire to throw himself wilding onto the ground in a fit of hysteria over Mama’s denial of whatever?
Umm… NO.
Tamtrums are tantrums.
These people who say they can “child whisper” their kids into 24 hour calm are–
IMAGINARY! hahaha
Good luck!
Once the words start full-on you’ll be shocked over and over at how quickly Fuller will learn new ones!