Jul 29 2006
Just a quick question
We had a wonderful time with our friends last night. Many topics of conversation were covered ranging from Auburn football, football in general, to baby furniture over to family traditions and around to how Denver’s job as a construction supervisor works. I had half a pitcher of sangria (about 2 1/2 glasses) and some yummy smoked gouda ravioli. D enjoyed his Coke and crab tartlet. We both had bruschetta. Yum!
While we were discussing the topic of children (which of all the people there D & I were the only ones with an actual child. Denver & Joanna are expecting, but beyond that, no parents in the rest of the group), a question came up and I don’t really have an agenda with this question, I just want to know…
Do you know any Christian families who have only one child by choice?
We were truly stumped and I am curious. Leave it in the comments.
Yes we do. We have quite a few of them in our church.
Can I ask what made you ask that question?
I think we were talking about our church and the constant stream of pregnancies (I have been going to that church for over 7 years and there has never been a period of time when someone wasn’t pregnant). A lot of the currently pregnant families in our church are second or third pregnancies. So, we were just wondering.
I am also wondering why you are asking…very interesting question!!! I know quite a few Christian families who have chosen to have only one baby…. On the flip side I know some who don’t believe that should be an option– totally don’t believe in any form of birth control…and have more kids than you can count…..And one of my best friends who “had to” (bc of her hubby’s religion-which she no longer subscribes to) endure 3 pregnancies and 3 c-sections in 2 years…she had her tubes tied on the last one– “medical reasons” are ok with hubby’s church….
Do you have a particular view on this or were you just curious?
Seriously, it is just like that trivia question that you don’t know the answer to and it bugs you and bugs you until the answer just hits you! Since we couldn’t come up with one last night, I thought I would pose it here. No agenda, no reasoning, just curious. I guess as long as someone out there knows some family somewhere who has made that kind of decision, my curiosity is satiated.
hehe. yeah it seems like we’re all having a race to have the most kids sometimes, doesnt it? I guess folks in our circles like kids. besides, how else are we supposed to take over the world?
anyway, I saw you’re doing sunday school this year? way cool. those kids are awesome.
One of my best friends is a Christian and has elected to have only one child. I think this, like many other aspects of a faithful life, fall into the category of conviction. I believe God convicts us in areas wherein he wants us to live our lives. Some Christians feel convicted to adhere to a contraception free life, others feel convicted to live differently. As long as you are sure that you are living the life that you believe God has called you to… that is what’s important. P.S. I never got a return email from you… what size T-Shirt?????!
When Alli and I discussed this, it really wasn’t within the context of “is contraception OK?”
It just seems like most of our Christian friends who choose to have kids just don’t stop after having one - leading us to wonder if Christians’ kids are like Lays potato chips - “you can’t have just one.”
Hey ali- found your blog and catch up on it every week or so. To answer your question, Aaron and I before we were married automatically assumed that we would have 3-4 children. Now that we have Jeremiah we are content and happy with just one. There are many reasons for our decision to just have one child ,
- monetary resources
- the desire to give him undivided attention for awhile
- my patience level (while i admire women who have 4 kids under age 5 - i would not be a good mother in that situation)
- the fact that our world and it’s resources are not getting any bigger, more kids means more humans to use up more resources
- we have a passion for children who already exist and are not wanted (foster care and adoption) and feel that instead of having more biological children foster care or adoption is a way to add to our family (if we feel led) The Bible actually says “True religion is this, to care for widows and orphans in their distress.” James
Many people are surprised when they hear our reasoning (and some family members do not agree). But this is an issue where God leads each family differently. We would obviously not impose our reasoning on anyone else and stand in awe of those families who have numerous children and are good parents.
Interesting discussion by the way. As to your night out - we have grandparents in the area who willing babysit for free! What a treat for us to be able to make going out part of our routine. We have even tried a couple of overnight stays and it has worked great! Glad you guys enjoyed your evening of adult company.
love,
Sarah (Rapier)