Parenting is hard. It can be a two steps forward, one step back kind of dance and while you are dancing you often feel inadequate, dizzy, and unsure of what to do, think, or expect.

From about the age of three weeks I stopped reading those emails from good-natured parenting websites telling me what my three week old should be accomplishing now. Instead I just got down on the floor and watched what Fuller was actually doing.

Everyday we are thrilled as Fuller does? well, anything. Just watch the cute way he eats his goldfish crackers. It is so cute when he repeats the words ?shoes, side, shoes, side? to indicate his desire to put on his shoes and go outside. We love the way his eyes roll to the side as if to communicate, ?yeah, sure, you think that now.? And of course I love watching him dance and march around the house. It all endears him to our hearts even more.

Which is why I was shocked when my inner mommy reared up and yelled, ?That?s ridiculous!? when I was listening to my Manic Mommies podcast. (It was all inside my head, so no one on the bus turned to see what the fuss was.)

One of the Mommies, I think Erin, was talking about how she had her son evaluated by Early Intervention Services because her son was 20 months old and only saying six words. She was worried because he never spontaneously speaks.

Now, to defend Erin, she does say that she felt the Early Intervention wasn?t really for her son, but mainly to help her figure out how to interact with him and get him to say words. She also says that her 20 month old is the youngest and the rest of the household never shuts up. It was actually quite funny.

The part I thought was ridiculous was not the thinking that at 20 months her son needed to be evaluated. The part that I thought was ridiculous was my immediate concern for Fuller and my whizzing off to figure out how to get Fuller evaluated because he is almost 23 months and barely has 6 words to his own vocabulary.

I shouted, ?That?s ridiculous!? in my head because I had to stop myself from comparing my child to other children or trying to measure him against what those very nice parenting websites say my son should be able to accomplish by now.

Erin wasn?t giving a commentary that children by 20 months should be communicating in full paragraphs, she was merely telling a story about happenings in her family. I turned it into the comparing game that so many parents tend to turn toward and I am just bugged at myself for it.

Every day gives us new challenges, but every day brings us new joy as well. Those challenges and joy are what makes our son so special. And to know that someday he could be yelling, ?I hate you!? in adolescent fury makes me think he doesn?t need any intervention just yet. I?ll stick with his ?shoes, side, shoes, side? mantra for right now.

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