I like to make the joke that Fuller wakes up going a hundred miles an hour. This doesn’t match up well with my 25 mile an hour mornings, so we have worked out a compromise using the television as a mediator. (Damon’s still in bed.)

While my mornings are only 25 miles per hour, our lives are running at a healthy sixty miles per hour, due to Fuller in our midst. When he made me a mother, he took me from zero to sixty in a split second. Our lives were changed and we haven’t slowed down since. And if we blink, we might miss something.

I love the change of scenery, the lessons learned (and taught), and the excitement that comes with being Fuller’s mother. I wouldn’t slow down for anything else.

Technorati Tags: mother’s day

I’ve been struggling for the last few days with inadequacy as a parent. Mainly it stems from Fuller’s budding need for socialization (i.e. playmates) and knowing I can’t fulfill this need by myself.

Everyday Fuller names specific friends he has made through mom’s group or Sunday School, asking to play with them. And some days he gets to play with them, but most days he doesn’t. I sit down and play cars, trains, and tools with him, but somehow I am not enough. He tells me I’m doing it wrong, giving an exasperated sigh and telling me, “Fuller do it.”

It has been interesting to see Fuller evolve from a kid who plays in a room with another child to a kid who plays with the other child. On Tuesday he was playing tag in his room with a friend. The last time this friend was over, they each played cars in their own corners of Fuller’s room.

Today I took Fuller to the park and there were no other kids around, which he immediately noticed. We tried to play hide and seek, which was fun for a while, but eventually Fuller tired of chasing me and sat down for a minute or two. Then he asked to go home. I admit I cried a little bit, just because this has been weighing on my mind a lot lately and Fuller seemed so lonely.

I realize my heart has been heavily depending on a second child coming along to eventually fill the instant playmate role. Or at least the second kid would be a distraction enough for me not to feel the weight of being Fuller’s primary playmate. Adjusting my focus for what I think our family will eventually look like to what it is right now is a bit like getting new glasses. It requires some getting used to. And then my inadequate feelings cloud my thoughts. I start thinking I haven’t been enough of an advocate for my son to be in social situations. (As an aside, I must stress our family needs these situations to be free. So, Mother’s Day Out or The Little Gym are not really options for us.)

In January I made goals for myself, but I think I am ready now to try at least one goal for my son: make at least three playdates a month. Three seems a little low, but with all our traveling and stuff going on in our house, I think it is attainable. And in addition to Mom’s Group and Sunday School, it might be enough of a boost for now. And if it isn’t, I’ll find more playmates or figure out a way to get an instant playmate.

Technorati Tags: family, only child, playmates

Dear Fuller and Damon,

Today is my 31st birthday and I am not with ya’ll to celebrate it. While this was my decision, and I am having a great time, I still miss you.

I want you (and all of the internet to know) this year has been one of the best ones of my life so far. So much has happened, starting with me beginning to undertake the rapidity of being a stay at home mom. While we sometime hit category 5 rapids in the white waters of life, what I remember and smile at are the happy moments we spend rolling along the lazy stretches of water enjoying the scenery and relaxing. Sure, the rapids can be fun too, but since I’m not a huge fan of white water rafting, this analogy is falling apart.

Do you get that I am so very happy to be a part of our family and love on you both? I hope so, I hope you feel it all the way from Vegas.

Thanks for this trip and thanks for loving me with all your hearts.

Love,
Alli/ Mommy

I leave for Vegas in two weeks from today! I have been getting ready by compiling the list in my head of things I have to take. Some of these things I had already and others I have been acquiring slowly.

I guess when I get to Vegas I want to show off my best, and even though I am a mommy blogger, I want to be a good looking mommy blogger (business casual in the day, fun in the evening!). I invested in some new makeup, a few key pieces of clothing, and even a new laptop bag (since my old one was for a smaller laptop).

I don’t have time for a total Mommy Blogger makeover, but I have been having some fun with virtual makeovers.

Check this out:

That’s me in my Salma Hayek celebrity hairstyle. I thought I would try something definitely different over at Makeover Solutions. (The free trial only allows one photo upload and I should have picked a different one… where I am smiling!)

You don’t have to have a celebrity hairstyle. You can pick from all kinds of lengths, colors, textures, and makeup options. I even played around with men’s hair styles to see if I liked me in short hair. I didn’t.

I won’t be dying my hair before Vegas (though purple is pretty tempting) but I do plan on putting my best face (and hair) forward. Can’t wait to go!

You know the kind of day where you just roll out of bed, put on clothes, throw your hair up into a ponytail and just try to get something accomplished? Well, I have only been up for two hours now and I can see my day heading that way.

I have steps one through three taken care of, and I am trying to figure out what I should attempt to accomplish. Really, I have so many things to choose from… clean the kitchen, go through clutter, sit down and read to Fuller.

I think I like the last option the best.

Babies were not invited to the wedding this weekend, so Austina and I had the pleasure of watching both Genevieve and her cousin Marin.

Having spent time around Genevieve, we knew how fussy she can be. No big deal. However, it was the first time we ever met Marin. She was dropped off by her father with a very light diaper bag (diapers and wipes) and she was only wearing a jacket and diaper. No mention of her last feeding, if she took a paci, or if she would nap or what… she just sat in the bouncy seat checking out her surroundings.

Then she turned to the fussy side and we we started checking the vitals- messy diaper? Nope. (We dressed her in one of Genevieve’s onesies, so she did have clothes.) Hungry? We offered her the expressed milk her mom dropped off earlier, but she wasn’t interested (it was also her first experience with a bottle).

I had Genevieve in the baby sling and she was fussing as well. Austina tried holding, rocking, and patting Marin but she gave up and handed Marin to me. I hand one baby in one arm and the other baby in the sling and suddenly they both fell fast asleep.

I guess I am just that good.